
The Acceptance Speech "Thank you very much. You don't have to stand on ceremony, you can all leave now. Thank you Sean and thank you Jameson. I hope I've had a good time, because I've been given to understand that this award is a gentle nudge to go offstage, to just sort of fade away. I think I'm ready - I think a lot of other people are too. But what have I got to lose at this point? There were a lot of other candidates. For this, you can't send a video, you have to be here. For this (holds up Perspex award) you had to be here. I tried, I couldn't make the thing work. I kicked the first assistant director's ass, I told them all to fuck off, I kicked the camera over. Fuck it, I'm here. But the first candidate, full disclosure, was Russell Crowe: he was supposed to get the Icon award and I was supposed to get the best of all time forever, but I graciously said, sure, I'll trade with you. I think his award was best actor of all time but they had to downgrade the award when he said "I can't stay, I'll come for a second." There's a lot of pressure at the top. I know that a lot of you guys were probably 'what the fuck? He just left, right?" I was supposed to go first. But in fairness to all those who were maybe a little disappointed that after regaling us with his unfathomable literary aspirations... he had to go because he had to go tell his driver to take his Maltesers and his shampoo down to the Great Ormond Street hospital NOW! Because he knows a matter of life and death <b>...</b>
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